"i've seen love."

this has been me the past few days.
blurry. eyes closed. &a hot mess.
i feel like everyone i know is spiraling out of control
and going to jail.

i don't have a best friend
and i feel like there's a secret i've been missing out on.

i'm just gonna wrap myself up in school
and save every penny
because i feel like the worst has yet to come.

"i wont change a word just because youre gone."

with all the thousands ways to communicate
you'd think i'd be able to keep in touch.

i had the day off.
i dreamt that you died.
nobody let me come to your funeral.
i cried rivers.
and then you came back to haunt me.
i thought i could prove you were a ghost.
but everyone just laughed and laughed and laughed.

is this revelant?
probably not.
but my phone hasn't rung in days.
so i'll just sleep and dream up a social life.


i should probably stop listening to jets to brazil now.

p.s.
i watched the bridge to taribethia (sp*)
and cried.

i have nothing more to say for myself.

"futon vag touching for a price."

1 bottle of andre + a $5 pitcher of beer= wasted.
oh yea, and basically the entire world was in my dream last night.
i think at one point i was dreaming of throwing up and woke up actually
in the position of puking with my mouth open.

i'm wondering if the things in my dream actually
happend last night.

hmmmmm. the world may never know.
well actually the world will,
i just won't.
so if you saw my last night
and i did anything less than flattering
don't bring it up.

"i admit sometimes i think i'm god."

i went to my first bachlorette party

&&now my purse is full of various kinds of condoms and
single servings massage oils and lube.
oh and mints. i can't forget the mints.

speaking of firsts
i jumped into a pool fully dressed for the first time.
probably not the first-time story you were hoping for.
(thanks travis. i had a real good time.
if you know what i mean.)

9/3/08

if you really love me, then let's make a vow
right here, together, right now. okay?
okay.
alright, repeat after me.
i'm gonna be free
i'm gonna be free
and i'm gonna be brave
i'm gonna be brave
good. and the next one is i'm gonna live each day as if it's gonna be my last
oh, that's good
you like that?
yeah.
then say it.
i'm gonna live each day as if it were gonna be my last.
fantastically.
fantastically.
courageously.
courageously.
with grace.
with grace.

and in the dark of the night, and it does get dark
when i call a name
when i call a name
it'll be your name.
what's your name
nevermind, lets go say it
lets go
everywhere
everywhere
even though
even though
we're scared
cos it's life
and its happening
its really really happening.

now let's kiss to make it real, okay?
right now.



i'm rewatching, me you and everyone i know
and remembering why i liked it in the first place
and wondering why it's taken me so long to revisit it.

in other news,
i wrote a poem about you two days ago.
it doesn't have a title,
only the date to signify the time in our history
that you tested your lungs by yelling "blah, blah, blah"
in my direction.
after i finish this poem
i will be wearing earplugs in your presence
so rest those pipes darling
and talk to the hand
cos i'm not listening.

"my mom wants me to marry mario lopez"

jamie: "he's the best hispanic ever!"

memorial day weekend: buckets of beer, boys, and snakes.




oh yeah, there was BILLY FUCKING IDOL and the b52s too!

ridiculous turns 21 tonight. insane.